Archive for the ‘New Shoes’ Category

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Fluevog Spotlight: Rococco Desdemona

March 12, 2008

rococco desdemona I have an urge to dry hump just about every member of the Operetta/Soprano families (oh, the teal Inge, the green Hildegard, the red Maria), but Catholic nuns taught me the virtue of denial for denial’s sake, and it’s Lent, so let’s elsewhere.

D’Artagnan and Puss in Boots meet Baroque on your auntie’s sofa with the Rococco Desdemona.

With a heel almost as distinctive as that famous cloven one, the Rococcos have been making striking forays into Grand National territory of darkness and vice.  The Desdemona backs off a little from the depravity and instead goes in a more opulent, lush direction.

If you love these boots but are frightened of the price tag, the Friend Mallory is similar, but built on the more boring but cheaper (and very comfy) Chinese heel and sells for about USD$200 less.  Apparently you can also wear those ones folded up, over the knee.

Verdict: I wouldn’t marry these boots, but I’d definitely be interested in a sword fight.  If you know what I mean.  And I think you do.

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Fluevog Spotlight: Body Part Pump

January 11, 2008

Big news over at Fluevog (besides the sale.  Oh, there’s a sale.) is the release of the Body Part Pump.

This shoe is in homage to the original Body Part, which was released a decade ago and carried John’s feelings about AIDS.  It was notable for a heel designed to be phallic.

The new Body Part is a rather gorgeous shoe, and I’d snap up the red one in an instant if my shoe collection weren’t already over-influenced by Dorothy (and if even I wasn’t put-off a little by the price).  But I have a bone to pick with the boner bit.

I’m all for a shoe that looks like a phallus.  However, I prefer my phallic shoes to have a little more…cock.

The new Body Part isn’t phallic at all, and the old one just barely skimmed the line.  If I’m going to buy $359 penis pumps, then I want the kinds of shoes that will cause the fainting of old ladies and the outcry of religious groups.

    body part

Verdict: I wouldn’t marry this shoe, and I’d expect the talk of its prowess to outstrip its performance.

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Fluevog Spotlight: Operetta Illeana

September 26, 2007

This little lady is a complicated lass.

Sometimes, she’s Liana, a school-teacher type. A little bit sensible, a little bit crunchy, with her comfortable heel, her woven leather and her floaty skirts. She’s the type to take her class out on a nice blue day to show them clouds and help them find shapes.

At other times, she’s Illeana, and she takes prisoners. She comes out at night, and with her straps and her buckles, she steps firmly and confidently and takes you places you’ve never been.

Verdict: I wouldn’t marry this shoe, but I’d date both its personalities to make the other one jealous.